Oops!

     So I have been really busy!  I forgot to update this when I had the chance and didn't have the chance when I remembered!

     The last two weeks have been...iffy. Some days I've tried super hard and others I have slacked and be my old self of no exercise and eating junk.

     Therefore,  last week,  at weigh in,  I gained half a pound.  This week I had no movement on the scale. 

     A man at work posted a challenge in our gym of doing 5000 squats and 1000 push ups in 30 days.  I have been half ass'ing it.  I'm only doing them on workdays. Since I can't do one full traditional push up and the ones on knees hurt my knees, I've been doing them on the wall.  I've been doubling them since wall ones are easier.  The squats,  well,  those are tough! Today is day 5 for me and it's 15 push ups and 75 squats. So that means I'll be doing 30 wall push ups. I'll have to break up the squats into 3 sets of 25 though.  Ouch!

     I've been half ass'ing losing weight, period. It's hard for me to do it when I don't see results.  It's hard to see results right now. But I'm still motivated enough to exercise a few times a week at least,  so that's way better than before!  I'm calling it a win! 

     Just an ordinary girl trying to be extraordinary.

Thoughts while pumping

So, I'm sitting here in the men's bathroom at work with my shirt over my head and two suction cups attached,  at one end,  to my boobs and, at the other end,  to bottles.  They are doing what I call,  "sucking out my life force"! It's amazing how much breastfeeding takes out of you physically.  Just makes me so tired and thirsty and hungry.  Sometimes,  I even take a mini nap while the baby's eating.  Which brings me to my next point.

Eating too much. Not drinking enough.  Because I'm breastfeeding,  I'm supposed to be drinking 100 oz of water a day!!! Really?! I rarely come closer to that and,  as far as I know,  have not reached that goal once since having the baby...or ever,  for that matter!  i drink around 60 oz per day.

I'm also supposed to be burning 200-500 calories a day just from breastfeeding! I'm thinking that since I'm mostly pumping on the weekdays,  and solely breastfeeding on the weekends that I'm somewhere near the lower-middle of that spectrum.  So let's just say I'm burning 300 calories a day because I'm breastfeeding & pumping.  Let's say I need to stay above 1500 calories to continue producing milk. That means I can safely eat a diet that is 1800- 2000 calories a day and lose weight. 2300 calories and I need to work out though. I eat around 2000-2500 per day.  Did I mention breastfeeding sucks my life force out of me lol.

Also,  the hormones! They keep me from losing weight quickly.  So annoying!  And I get hot flashes!

But I love breastfeeding.  It's the one thing I know I have to give my daughter that my husband doesn't.  It keeps her needing me.  And she's so sweet while she's eating.  Sometimes she just stops to smile at me.  And then she peacefully drifts of to sleep. 

But then there's the bra situation.  I hate nursing bras.  They don't come in a good variety of sizes,  the styles suck or are pretty but not functional.  They are all uncomfortable.  Sigh.  I miss my regular bras! 

In any case.  It's a wonderful thing,  but not at the same time.  Bittersweet.  Just like it will be when I'm done nursing.

Also,  they day that if you keep breastfeeding,  the weight will fall off.  It does if you're solely breastfeeding.  Pump and work away from the home...well,  that's another story.

Until next time...

Rough day

So,  I worked out every day this week so far,  but today will be my rest day.  On Monday and Wednesday,  I walked the treadmill on the hill interval setting and on Tuesday I did some legs and butt exercises.  My legs are KILLING ME!!!! I'm not sure I should even be walking.  Mark told me I'm not supposed to work out the same body part 2 days in a row.  Stupid me! I'm paying for it. To top that of,  I'm having a rough day emotionally.  Not sure why. I've been trying to work out and track my food/water intake for 6 weeks now.  I've lost 3 pounds.  I feel stupid for trying while breastfeeding.  I am just so hungry all the time. But I hate how fat I am too. I'm just having a hard time being motivated today.